an optimistic update

Sorry I have not written in a while.  Whenever I felt like writing recently, I also felt like complaining MAJORLY.  So I thought it would be better to just not write.  Today, however, I’m feeling pretty optimistic.  We can pay our rent and bills coming up this week!  Granted, we will have about $100 left to our name, and it will be impossible to pay bills next month unless Samuel gets hired, but I feel like things will start looking up very soon.  Samuel has applied to over a hundred jobs.  Every weekday morning he spends a few hours applying to new jobs, both online and in person.  Something has got to come up eventually.

ETA: I thought I should clarify that, though we cannot pay our bills next month unless Samuel gets a paycheck, we do have Other Resources in the form of Family that can lend us money to get by.  So don’t be alarmed!  We are not going to be homeless.

Sorry for talking about our money in such detail, but I personally do not feel like it is inappropriate to talk about money unless you are whining, begging, or bragging.   So I try really hard not to do those things.  In fact, I think it is important to talk about money so that people can have a realistic view of it, and can learn from other people’s examples.  Also, I think it is important for people to be ok with using the words “we can’t afford it.”  Just matter-of-fact “we can’t afford it.”  Not “we can’t afford it don’t you feel sorry for us and want to give us money?” or “we can’t afford it and thus we are depressed.”  Just plain owning up to what you can’t afford and not being upset about it beyond reason.  So that’s why I am talking about this.

I am really excited about this baby.  I have been reading up on how to guess what position it’s in.  Now whenever it kicks, I try to determine what body part(s) is(are) kicking.

This morning Samuel looked at our phone bill and noticed that they were charging us for things we don’t want and didn’t ask for.  We seriously can’t afford that, so he called them, and they fixed everything and are going to pro-rate our account so that we will be refunded!  Samuel is my hero!

We got church callings.  I am the Relief Society Music Committee, which means I pick the songs and lead the music and also do the practice hymn and arrange a Relief Society musical number and stuff.  At one point in my life I said this was my coveted calling, so I’m pretty happy.  Samuel is a Sunday School teacher for the 14-15 year olds, including my sister Emma.  He is excited about that too.  After working with teenage sex offenders at his previous job, there is basically nothing these kids can dish out that he can’t handle.  They are all good kids; their only problem is that they don’t talk much in class.

Birth Center Prenatal Visit

Today was the day I’ve been looking forward to for some months now.  My first prenatal appointment at the Topeka Birth Center.  When I first found out that this birth center existed, I squealed with joy!  Then when we found out we were moving to Manhattan, I was so, so happy and relieved to know that I could have the baby at the birth center -barring any major medical problems, of course.

The reason I want to give birth there is because they offer a peaceful, homebirth-like setting to labor and deliver in.  There is no constant pressure to “progress,” no one sets a timer or expects your labor to follow the clock, there’s no pressure to use pitocin for speeding things up, no episiotomies, no constant unwanted offers of pain meds, no IV’s, no fetal moniters that restrict movement, you can labor and deliver in whatever position is most comfortable -meaning you are not confined to a bed, on your back-, eat and drink when you want, the list goes on and on.  Everything they do and don’t do is just what I want and makes me feel comfortable.  Everything is peaceful, family-oriented, not rushed, not invasive, and yet still very safe for healthy pregnancies.  If there is an emergency, a hospital is available across the street, and that is comforting too.

I just love it.  It makes me so happy to think of giving birth there.  I know in a hospital setting I would feel much more afraid and out of control.  I have very little experience with hospitals, and I don’t exactly feel comfortable in them.  I’m not afraid of them or anything -just not comfortable.  I know that the routine interventions they do during labor often do not help labor progress and thus lead to c-sections which could have been avoided (one of my worst fears).  If I have a medical emergency during labor and have to be transferred to the hospital, I will be very greatful to the staff there for having the equipment and interventions necessary to save me and my baby.  But if everything goes normally, I would much rather stay out of the hospital.  To me, hospitals are for sick people.  I’m not sick; I’m pregnant!

So my first appointment was today.  I got to see the two labor/delivery rooms.  They look like bedrooms, with a big double bed in each one.  One has a big jacuuzi.  They have birth balls, birthing stools, cd players, a small amount of medical equipment.  They’re nice and cozy.  There is also a kitchen where we can keep and prepare food for ourselves during labor.

Get this, women who have been pregnant before:  for my gestational diabetes test next time I go, I don’t have to drink that nasty glucose syrup that makes some women puke.  I have to eat a breakfast taken exactly from a menu they gave me today, one hour before I go in to be tested.  Something like juice, eggs, and toast, or toast, cereal, and milk.  Awesome, huh??  I love this place.

They don’t do routine ultrasounds there, so I will not be having an ultrasound unless there is a medical concern.  This means, the baby’s sex will be a surprise!  How exciting!  Please send us neutral baby gifts.    However, the midwife says that the heartrate indicates it is a boy, and she claims that method is about 70% accurate.  My grandma also said I “look” like I’m having a boy.  So!  We’ll see!

The midwife also said the baby is positioned head-down.  Good baby.  Make sure you stay that way, please.  (However, breech positioning is not a reason for them to send women to the hospital for a c-section, unless the baby is breech during labor and things are not progressing.  None of this nonsense about scheduling c-sections when the baby happens to be breech in the weeks before the due date).  She said I am measuring about 28 weeks, which is 4 weeks ahead of what I’m supposed to be, so that is kind of strange but not alarming.  We’ll see where I’m at next time.

I’m so happy!

23 weeks

Today I turned 23 weeks pregnant (for those who aren’t familiar with pregnancy lingo, that means almost six months)

The baby is a little over a pound, and 11 inches long, more or less.

I can sometimes see it kicking just by looking down at my belly.

Here’s a picture.  Samuel wanted to see what some of the Gimp filters did, so we played around with them, and I actually liked this one a lot so I kept it this way.  It’s called “photocopy”.

Baby Belly

Here’s my baby belly at 4 months.  It’s not much, but it’s there!

General updates

We’re moving on May 19th.  We wanted to use a Relocube but they were all out! So we got one of their shared trailers instead.  Same price, and same amount of space.  But now we can’t just put it in our parking space, because it’s a huge trailer -we have to have them park it on the other side of the parking lot, quite far away.  So that makes me a little grumpy.

We will probably get in to the apartment we applied for.  It’s about a mile away from my parent’s home.  It costs about the same as Wymount, plus more for utilites, and has twice as much space.  I’m so used to being a BYU student.  Now that I’m not anymore I have to buy a landline and internet! Internet is soooo expensive.  I believe trash and water are included in the rent price though.

I’m going crazy looking at furniture on craigslist.  We will need couches, a dresser, and some other things.  I really don’t want to buy ugly things just because they’re cheap and available.  I would rather wait and find something nicer.  If I find something on craigslist while I’m still out here, my parents could pick it up for me, but they only have small cars so it’s a bit difficult.  So I don’t know why I’m still looking.  It’s addictive.

Plus we are rapidly running out of money, so it’s really hard to find furniture that I like that is still cheap.  I’ve been working nearly full-time this week and will next week.  Then they kick me out because I’m not a student.  Working full-time is a lot harder now than it was when I wasn’t pregnant.  I get tired fast!  Sometimes it’s like my arms and legs are super heavy.  I’m glad I am only working for one more week.

In really awesome news, I found a freestanding birth center in Topeka, an hour’s drive from Manhattan.  The website is here. If you don’t know what a birth center is, check out their FAQ page.  Check out their c-section rate in 2007: 3.6%.  That is just phenomenal.  The national average for 2006 was 31.1%.  Outrageously high.  The W.H.O. recommends no higher than 15%.   The other nice thing about this birth center is that they charge $4,100 total for prenatal visits, delivery, and a few postnatal visits.  This is a very good price.  If a patient ends up with an emergency hospital transfer (4.8% did in 2007), they will cancel the birth center fee and charge what it would cost for them to do a hospital birth.  So what that means for us, is that if Samuel doesn’t get a job with maternity coverage, and we don’t qualify for Medicaid (both of which are likely) we will either  pay $4,100 or the amount for the hospital birth (anywhere from $5,000-$10,000 and up, just for the delivery).  We were thinking of doing a home birth with a certified midwife ($2,000-3,000) but then if we ended up having a hospital transfer, we would have to pay the hospital bill on top of that.  So not only does this birth center have good statistics and a philosophy that meshes with mine and Samuel’s, it also is the least risky financially.  And if Samuel does get health insurance, we will get a plan that pays for a certain percentage of the bill from whatever doctor we choose to see.  So potentially it could be much less than $4,100, which as it is is cheaper than we would have paid in copays with our BYU insurance.

Sometimes we just want to move to Canada and have the baby there.  Health insurance is so blankety-blank complicated.  But I am really excited about this birth center.